Since i was young,
All the important decisions in my fucking life was made by my parents,
But i never hated them for that ,
i took it as if it was for my own good.
I just love them so damn much that i don't fight back.
Maybe what they did was right.
But now , i'm Eighteen,
Im still taking their decisions as mine.
Plus i still love them as much as i did back then,
But you dont fucking know how fucked up it feels when you have to go on
with their decisions even if you know that they are wrong !
Yeah they are my parents but they are also humans that make mistakes.
Semata - mata untuk jaga hati mak ayah , aku terpaksa korbankan segala yang aku ade.
Tak kira baik atau buruk,
Memang laa kita kena memahami ibu bapa kita tapi they must do the same to us ryte ?
Aku sayang Parents aku and aku takkan benci dorang ,
Tapi lama-lama aku makin benci hidup aku,
aku fuck hidup macam nie.
Tangan luka ? kaki luka ?
ape pun tak rasa sbb hati lagi sakit dari benda lain.
Aku tak tahu macam mane nak fahamkan mak ayah aku.
Aku cuma nak satu kehidupan yang normal seperti orang lain.
Aku pun nak berjaya gak,
Ini masa untuk aku buat keputusan sendiri ,
Ini masa depan aku !
What is wrong with everyone ?
Apesal aku sorang je sentiasa berlainan dari kawan2 yang sebaya aku ?
Mungkin kalau aku nak buat benda yang salah,
Boleh terima laa kalau mak ayah nak larang .
Aku cuma nak hidup aku jadi milik aku sepenuhnya.
Tak bermakna aku langsung takkan pedulikan mak ayah aku,
Tapi just that some decisions should be made by me and only myself ,
Because its my life and im the one who's gonna live it.
Sometimes i feel like killing myself because i dont get a chance to make my life right !
Everyday there something making me feel fucked up.
And all these days , i just smiled and continued living as if i dont have a heart or feelings.
But i cant do this anymore.
I cant !
I fucking cant do this anymore !
Why me ?
Why its always me ?
I stopped everything , just everything for my parents and why dont they understand me ?
Why cant they believe that am ready to make my own choices ?
They dont even know what am going through ,
How fucking lonely i am,
I've put all the enjoyment and entertainment aside, just to make them happy .
They really don't know.
I wont hate them even now but fuck i hate myself .
Something should be done !
everything is going wrong !
I just see darkness all around ,
i can feel that the goodness is fading in me.
God, please!
If you dont want them to understand me,
Atleast make me as how i was !
Happy go lucky even if am sad.
as long as my parents are happy .
DAMN I FUCKING HATE THIS LIFE !
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